Breathe, just breathe.

To be totally honest, my life is kicking my ass right now. I need more than twenty-four hours and a day, and more than seven days in a week to accomplish everything that I want to. I'm not happy with myself right now, and I'm so stressed out.

I have a D in Trig right now, because I didn't have the time or the desire to finish the homework. Cairns doesn't make any of us want to do the work he hands out, and as a result, there are tons of us just drowning out there. We have no clue what is going on, and our grades are reflecting that. Physics, however, is something I understand now. There's nothing there that I want to kick yet, so that's a good sign.

Cedes has been sick a lot recently; I'm worried about my best friend. ):

Chalon... Well, he's just Chalon. There's nothing I can put about him other than I adore that best friend of mine. (:

Sam and I have been better, but are fighting again. FUCK.

A few more months, and we'll have to decide some stuff about us.

Hello Blog. I've missed you.

So, honestly, I've missed writing here.

I've just been so busy with life, that my me time that I set aside so that I could think has just kinda slipped away. I'm so busy, and so stressed that I can't even think straight some days.

And it doesn't help that everyone wants to spend time with me. It's not that I don't want to spend time with them, it's more that I want time to myself again. I want my poetry back too, because I just can't write anything that's worth sharing with the world anymore, it seems. It's sad... I miss it so much. I miss my feelings being displayed on paper, so that they're released from my mind for a little while.

Comment allez-vous?

How are you?

Yes, it's a simple question to most.

However, I've been questioning my answer to this every time I say I'm good/well, or en francias, je suis bien.

Am I really?

Am I even okay anymore?

Letter Number Nineteen

Dear Person who pesters my mind; in a good way.

I think about you quite a bit, even if I don't know if you think about me too.

Just to led you know.

I have nothing else really to say to you.

Letter Number Eighteen

Dear who I want to be,

You know, there is so much that I could write here. I could say that I wish I could be stronger in mind in body. I could say that I wish I could be skinnier, prettier, and just a better person altogether. But I won't. I'm who I'm supposed to be for this moment, and I will change as I adapt to what needs to be done in my life.

Letter Number Seventeen

CODY!

You know there is so much I could say about you and I, but I don't think it needs to be said. Some of it will be though, since it's fresh on my mind. (:

There are several things I LOVE about you, but not in a romantic way:

- We can talk about LITERALLY anything.

- You don't freak when I'm driving.

- You just listen to what I want to do and go with it.

- And you're always there to hear my deepest darkest thoughts.

I've known you for far too long, but I'm glad to have you in my life.

You're one of the people that let's me know that I'm blessed.

ILY GAY BEST FRIEND WHO ISN'T REALLY GAY!

New Poem. VERY ROUGH.

This is a new one, and still really rough. I'll revise when I'm not as upset.

Tears in my eyes,

with words dying on my tongue.

This is a hard decision in my life,

but I'm still young...

Who knows if this is right,

but who knows if it's wrong?

This choice could make our future bright

or make it another sad song.

We'll just have to hope for the best

and pray for a future together.

I won't want to settle for less,

and I promise I won't if this doesn't get better.